Strengthening the Couple Connection
I work with couples to uncover patterns that lead to fighting and defensiveness, while developing new ways of relating and communicating. My style is collaborative and respectful. My intention is to create a safe space where each person can feel heard and understood, heal past hurts and strengthen your couple connection.
Emotion Focused Couple Therapy
What is EFT?
Emotion focused therapy (EFT) is an approach to couples therapy rooted in over 20 years of research in adult love, attachment and marital distress. Studies find that 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery and about 90% experience significant improvement.
How Does it Work?
EFT works by helping couples become aware of patterns you bring to relationship, and how your pattern impacts the cycle of interaction between you and your partner. The current belief is that humans are wired for connection, and adults meet these attachment needs in their primary intimate relationship. All goes well when we feel our partner is there for us, supportive and responsive in the way we expect. When we do not feel that, a kind of protest reaction occurs. In EFT, we become very familiar with your relationship cycle, increasing your awareness and responsiveness and eventually restructuring so that you shift into a more positive cycle that is self-reinforcing.
What is the Goal?
The goal of EFT is to remove barriers to connection and closeness, work on increasing the safety and strengthening your couple "bond" (an adult form of attachment in intimate relationship). I work with couples to help make sense of what is happening between you, a bit at a time, starting with where you are.
Conflict Resolution for Couples
Most relationships experience conflict. Most often it is how we respond to conflict that leaves us feeling “stuck” in relationship. Areas of conflict around sex, money, work, time, chores, parenting and extended family relationships are common. Conflict can also stem from unresolved hurts or betrayals in relationship, such as an affair. I help couples heal and make sense of what is happening between you as well as give you new skills for communicating in conflict.
Many people have sexual intimacy issues or concerns. There are all sorts of factors that can impact a couple's sexual relationship, for better or worse. I enjoy helping couples deepen their understanding of their own sexuality and intimacy through conversation in session. In fact, I have found that integrating sexuality in my relational work with people improves outcomes!
My interest in sex therapy has grown out of my work with couples. I am currently seeking additional training in sex therapy through AASECT (American Association of Sexulity Educators, Counselors and Therapists).
We are All the Same, And All Different
I welcome couples from different cultural, religious, ethnic and racial backgrounds, as well as hetero or same sex couples. I also work with couples where one member may be experiencing depression or anxiety, post traumatic stress disorders, or chronic illness. If you have a question about how I might help you, please contact me for a free phone consultation.